"Now the time has come to mould myself from single to mingle (married)..." I have persuaded my mind after ample consideration of my parents verbal tortures. My parents have often tortured me by statements like "Abhi nahi karega to kab karega?" -> "if you don’t do it now, when are you are going to do it?"(it seems like they are asking but they are telling), "Jyada umar ho jaayegi to koi ladki bhi nahi dega" -> "if you get more old, then no one is going to offer their daughter to you"(it seems they want to say that my value will depreciate like an “option” as time passes), "Guptaji k ladke ki bhi shaadi ho gayi, ab tu bhi karle" -> "Guptaji's son also got married, now you also have to get married"(Guptaji is just to represent one person in society whose child is always best in everything and our parents always scold us by pointing and comparing with that child. They think if Guptajis child gets married so could I ).
Many like me, between the ages 22 to 30(and some older than that) think that we are not ready for marriage, as our careers have just started, or we are not ready to give up our bachelor lives, or we are not ready to take any serious responsibilities etc but reality is that we are never going to be ready for marriage till we get married. So I took the first step for getting married and started looking at girls, in the search for the one who is made for me. During my teens, I had decided that its only love marriage for me , and I fell in love once and it didn't work out . But that experience has cleared my ideas regarding a life partner and I have become so choosy in partner selection that I never make that mistake again and I am still in search of my partner. As there aren’t any girls in my life whom I can marry and as I have heard that arranged marriages are more successful than love marriages, so thought of trying the path of arranged marriage once.
In arranged marriages, parents give top priority to a girl of the same caste and even same sub caste, which goes down till the bottom of the whole caste nesting system. We know that In India, depth level of our castes is deeper than a nest that zoologger can dig and if that will not work then they are agree for any girl, but it should be a girl. So I have to go at my native place where functions are organized by the society to which I belong, where young boys and girls come to see each other in the name of attending functions. In arranged marriages, there are levels which boys and girls have to pass to get into matrimony.
· Level 1: if one likes another just by the face then the family goes through an extensive profile matching process (including financial background, education background, earning capacities, interests/hobbies, food habits etc)
· Level 2: if profile checking is clear then they match the boy’s and girl’s horoscopes.
· Level 3: If horoscopes match, they approach to meet the other person.
· Level 4: First meeting is between the boy and girl. It may last for half an hour or 1 hour or 2 hours or few hours. Within this time period you have to decide whether the girl is right for you or not and if you are luckier then you may get 1 or 2 meetings more.
· Level 5: if both agree then a wedding clarinet will smash at your house.
In Level 4, If one is not able to decide then they (who approached) will move to another door, as people are in a hurry to get married, cause of the belief that a good person might slip out of their hand. This level decision is so important as your whole life will be in for a change and if you end up with the wrong guy or gal your life will be ruined. And its precisely in this level 4 where I get stuck. I am not able to decide on the person with whom I can spend my whole life with, within half an hour or half day and not sure how other people do the same. I am not able to select anyone and I am back to being in the search of "The One"...
